I've been having some technical difficulties getting this podcast online, so I don't have much to say right now. I just hope the fucker works! If you can't hear it here, you can always catch it on the original website. 

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Ok, so I'm a little late posting this one... sue me! But this week we have armless and legless Chinese guys (just in time for the Olympics) and Jean Claude Van Damme in two really awful martial arts movies. Oh yeah, look at that cock! It's fake of course, but a boy can dream, can't he? Enjoy                           

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The 80's produced its fair share of weird horror movies, but none so much as Sleepaway Camp and The Slumber Party Massacre 2. I mean chicks with dicks and a homicidal rock & roll singer with a drill on the end of his guitar...very strange and seriously fucking awesome. C'mon, look at that picture...how fucking much more crazy can you get? It pre-dates The Crying Game for Christ sake, totally visionary in every way. Ok I'm being a bit of a twat, rum does that to me, but still, it's pretty awesome. Give a listen and see you next week.

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Fuck it's hot! So to combat the heat we decided to watch the ice-themed flix The Ice Crawlers and The Ice Queen. If you hear something weird during the first few minutes, it's me eating a bag of cheese puffs. They were delicious! Well, I'm drunk, so enjoy our shame!

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Another week, another set of bad movies. This time, we tackled C.H.U.D. and C.H.U.D. 2: Bud the C.H.U.D. Both movies were fairly boring and extremely crappy. So once again I will take a moment to recommend another hidden gem of a movie, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. The movie stars Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer (who plays a gay private eye). It was written and directed by Shane Black who created the Lethal Weapon series and it's truly a great little movie. It features Robert Downer Jr. a full three years before he reinvented himself as an action star in Iron Man (another great movie, but most of the world knows that already). It's funny, tense, action-packed, and did I mention funny? Do yourself a favor and seek this one out. Talk to you soon.

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The Burning and April Fools Day. Two 80's slasher flicks so unremarkable in every way, we had trouble coming up with stuff to talk about. Certainly not the worst movies we have ever seen, just...blah. So I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about a really good movie, Sneakers. No, it's not about a shoe company or joggers, it's a spy/comedy/action/caper flick from 1992. This movie is criminally underrated and unknown by so many. It stars Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, Dan Aykroyd, Ben Kingsley, and River Phoenix among others. I don't want to give away the plot, but if you've never seen it, do yourself a favor and rent it. It's a great way to spend two hours. Well, so is fucking, but that's for another blog. See you next week!

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So Kyle's brother Jeff gave us copies of this week's entries, Zombie Strippers and George Romero's Diary of the Dead. As always, we drank plenty and laughed a lot, and the movies were pretty awful. For the podcast, we tried something new; a phone call to Jeff through the computer via Skype. Jeff sometimes sounds like the computer voice from Wargames, but it worked out alright. Also, Kyle was a little sad because he forgot to bring up something about one of the movies during the podcast. That actually happens a lot due to the large amount of rum we usually drink. We're actually funnier while watching the movies than we are afterward. But since I don't want a three and a half hour podcast, our shoddy memories will have to do. As always, enjoy our shame!

Kyle and I have been talking about watching The Beastmaster and Conan the Destroyer for a long time. It was one of those combos that we kept putting off for other things, like This Darkness (God knows why). Well, we slapped those bitches into the DVD player, poured ourselves a few drinks (we tried a new spiced rum, Admiral Nelson's...deeelish), and settled in to watch a bunch of oily guys and their butt-cheeks fight each other. Add in some random boobies, some bad special effects, and one rubber poop monster, and we ended up with one magical evening. We hope you feel the same.

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I can't say enough about the visual feast that is Clint Eastwood, actually smiling for once, and his orangutan Clyde in the movies Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can. I watched these movies all the time when I was a kid and remember loving them. Would they hold up after 20 plus years? Yes and no. I still liked them more than Kyle I think, but that's not saying much. I think monkey's are funnier when you're 10. Well, listen and judge for yourself.

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So here we are, back to our roots with a true bad horror movie night. We went with a vampire theme for no good reason, and what a suckfest it turned out to be. We added a special guest this week; a man who shares our love of shitty movies, but even he could not stop Kyle and I from almost coming to blows about which flick sucked more. Ok, it wasn't that bad, but fuck it, I'm going for dramatic effect! Enjoy!

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